Here's a phone conversation I definitely had with Russell Crowe after seeing his new Robin Hood movie.
RC: Hello?
ME: Fuck you Russell. Is it OK if I call you Russell?
RC: I suppo-
ME: Fuck you Russell.
RC: Uhhhh?
ME: I can't believe I spent money on renting Robin Hood instead of waiting for it to hit Netflix. This movie is terrrrrrrible. The whole time I was watching it, I was thinking about watching Robin Hood with Kev Costner. That movie fucking rules. Bryan Adams soundtrack? Boom. Even Bryan Adams couldn't save this movie.
RC: Well, we were kinda goin' for a different approach, mate. Excuse me a minute while I open my Fosters.
ME: Ok so I guess this movie is kind of like a prequel, except that Robin Hood is 45 already. Good job casting department! Maybe if they got Morgan Freeman to play your side kick the movie would have been good. Maybe.
RC: Well, I-
ME: Fuck you Russell.
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